malevole

10-08-2002 01:06 #

My Late 5k Entry
(requires Flash 5; resize window if slow)

I somehow managed to miss the deadline despite having it ready weeks in advance. Ah well, congratulations to the winners.

06-08-2002 22:52 #

SALE BEDDING 3 PACKS FOR PRICE OF 2

Over the past two years I've passed this garden centre countless times, at various times of day, yet I've never seen any customers. Not one.

I reckon there must be a secret gambling den in the greenhouses, filled with octagenarians from the local nursing homes betting their pensions on Blackjack and which marigold will flower first.

04-08-2002 16:39 #

I've no idea what happened this weekend, it's a blank. I got home Friday evening and had some food, next thing I know I'm waking up, it's Sunday afternoon, and there's this page sitting on the server.

All I can recall are vague flashbacks of Photoshop's layers palette, the Print-Scrn key and insane cackling. Perhaps I need a holiday.

02-08-2002 07:13 #

After a hard day's work, there's nothing I like more than to come home to the amplified sound of dodgy singing and guitar-playing drifting across from events at the rugby club.

Is this [mp3] really 'Are you wired up to the power of the Lord?', or did I mishear something less amusing/likely to involve electrodes..?

30-07-2002 22:17 #

A unique site

Where else would you find a combination of animated rainbow horizontal rules, slightly scary politics and Skeletor fan-fiction?

29-07-2002 12:24 #

Wine + Trivial Pursuit =

"What's another name for a badminton bird?"
"A spoonbill"

"What animal was Napolean most afraid of?"
"Er.. elephants?"
"Well he wouldn't have seen many of those would he?"
"Exactly, it must've scared the fuck out of him when he did"

"Who commanded the Jolly Roger in Peter Pan?"
"Captain Cook"

"Who is Britain's Defender of the Faith?"
"He-Man? Or Man-at-Arms? Is it Man-at-Arms or Man-of-Arms? Men-of-Arms? Has he got lots of arms or something?"
"You're just being silly now."

28-07-2002 14:55 #

Sorry for the lack of updates over the past week, I've been busy rearranging my sock drawer (sorting by colour is so 1990s) and striving to design a superhero who doesn't look incredibly camp (no success so far).

Spud-U-PostThe Natural Living Show is on nearby at the moment, where middle-aged women can get touched by a bearded bloke (spiritual healing), sit in a tent without the canvas (mystical energy pyramid) or buy postcards featuring potatoes. All this inspired me to try to take a photo of my aura, with interesting results.

22-07-2002 22:19 #

The campaigning goes on (PDF; requires Acrobat)

.oOo.

Sometimes you lot make me look sane

.oOo.

Freaking links added

.oOo.

Just been playing some daft little games I did years ago for the SAM Coupé using an emulator, including:
Santa Goes Psycho 2,
One Man & His Frog, Meteor Mania,
Infection, Retros,
DERF, T'n'T
(select File > Floppy 1 > Insert; choose unzipped disk file; type 'boot' to load; use F12 to reset)

21-07-2002 16:54 #

Could these actually be secret coded messages?Hot Pork Next Layby

Dotted along the route to the cinema are numerous signs promising greasy roadside food, yet no such products are ever to be found. They lie!

I'd never eat the stuff, but the signs fascinate me.

20-07-2002 13:52 #

 
 

My
Not-So-Beautiful
Laundrette

The competition's final spin cycle has ended and it's time to hang it out to dry.

Commiserations to the 200 losing entrants. Look on the bright side, at least it didn't involve a minor celebrity turning up on your doorstep to harass you about whiter whites.


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