25-06-2003 22:27 #

A schoolfriend always had dozens of boxes of this evil product in their bathroom. The poor kid was probably mentally (and quite possibly physically) scarred for life.

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MSN screenshot
I'm concerned about their ranking algorithms, but the page title's great.

02-06-2003 21:47 #

Tired of taking crap wide-angle pictures with your camera phone? Hold it up against one side of a pair of binoculars and, hey presto, you've got a zoom lens ideal for taking crap long-distance snaps of kites and sheep.

 Kite. Sheep.

10-05-2003 14:08 #

That daft little animation seems to have gone down pretty well over the past 8 months, with half a million visitors, loads of links, and numerous mentions in print and on TV around the world. But all that was topped by this email:
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From: [name withheld]
I would love to use your Tribute to Ray Harryhausen in a power point presentation. I do leadership development training for the YMCA and think this would be a lot of fun to include.
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(Apparently they loved it, but I'm now somewhat concerned about the future of their organisation; Skeletor's hardly a great leadership role model. Although, to be fair, any manager would find bungling employee Beast Man frustrating to deal with)

06-05-2003 21:21 #

Having spent a weekend scraping, filling, sanding and painting walls I can confirm that The Karate Kid misled us all; performing repetitive property maintenance tasks does not result in arse-kicking martial arts abilities.

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They should just rig up a free barbecue
If you're a smoker going for a walk through the lovely Ryton Wood, it might be a good idea to avoid lighting up until you're well away from ex-landfill Ryton Pools...

25-04-2003 19:35 #

Morcs decided not to eat this, but surely a bit of mottled green fried egg wouldn't have done him any harm?
Can't decide which it reminds me of more: a scene from Alien or that oft-emailed photo of the weightlifter with the prolapse

22-04-2003 21:50 #

From: chobb
Date: 21 April 2003 22:05

Just when I think our site's good I go and see yours. Godammit it you're too talented by half and them some more.
I've sent my Mechanical Barrymore after you and I've set him to 'auto-bum'.
(Don't drop your wallet)

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Fucking hell, I don't know about wallets but I'm staying well away from swimming pools for a while.

15-04-2003 09:56 #

I found this Polaroid photo alongside the pavement while walking into work a couple of weeks ago. It's nice to see that, despite the apparently dark, grotty, noisy (note the earplugs) conditions in the factory, the bloke towards the back seems really happy to be there.

13-04-2003 13:25 #

"Tuna and mayo? OK...
I know this stuff does say 'salad cream' on the container and er.. it looks a bit like salad cream.. and it might taste like it to you.. but er.. it is mayonnaise, it's er.. how mayonnaise was when it was invented, the real thing like. Isn't that right, Dave?"

09-04-2003 19:10 #

At my day job we decided to celebrate Easter by producing a game; what could be more appropriate than inbred hillbilly chickens?

"You sure do got a purrty beak"

25-03-2003 21:46 #

"Today I've eaten as many oranges as pickled onions"

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"You know how the time machine in Terminator would only send things inside meat? Couldn't they just cover the robot with Pukka Pies, or tape loads of kittens over it or something?"

older notes...