-----Original Message-----
From: Tony Brindle
Sent: 21 February 2002 10:25
To: #Fun Stuff
Subject: bloody Spanish

well, as usual, the holiday was shite.

Zimmer frames, purple hair dyes, 50's cabaret acts (bobby vee throw backs).

But between the moments of complete boredom and the endless nights of Spanish humour, I was educated.

She was a magician called Vicky, Sticky Vicky, she made things appear!
At 2.30 in the morning after several drinks, we were introduced to this adult act.
I had no idea what was coming. The lights went off, the music started and a rather old lady in a swim suit appeared. This was Vicky, she was 69 years old.

No hanging about she whips off all her clothes and produces three whole eggs from the one place chicken eggs should not come from. Then came the 6 metres of flags (British of course), a vibrator so long you could use it as a walking stick. Then from a stage bag she produced a industrial sized light bulb, luckily she did not try to make this disappear, but instead connected herself to it and made it light up. Marvellous. Several other items appeared and disappeared, then came the shocker. One meter of threaded razor blades, trust me they were real, I tested them myself (I was drunk). Then to end the session and after several attempts she opened a bottle of beer. I have the bottle top, it's in me suit case I'll bring it in tomorrow for you all to see (best wash it first). I was educated, never knew there was so much space available. It was like the tardis.

Anyway I didn't bring cakes back, cos they were shite, so I'll grab a load after lunch from Tescos

Good news is, I brought back some duty free cig, they're up for sale.

 

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